Write his name on every cigarette in the pack. Smoke the whole pack with a bottle of red wine. Light them up. Watch his name burn and turn to ash between your fingers. Inhale deeply. Feel his name, the smoke, scratch its way through your mouth, your throat, your lungs. Keep it in. Let it degrade you from the inside. Let it kill you, slowly eating out your body. Exhale. Put it out. Let it go. You have let it burn for long enough.