Runaway

You say you are a brave man,

Jumping off a cliff into the ocean

Going into a fight to save your brother,

Without even thinking twice.

 

When I hear your name I hear:

Going, going, going.

Like drips of the morphine in those last hours

When you know the life is so far ahead of you

There is no way you are going to catch it by the ends of its robe

And keep it with you.

 

The airport queues have never been so short.

The bus isn’t late for the first time in a decade.

I have forgotten how to say goodbyes.

I feel the wooden houses in my stomach crack at the base.

I try to fix them with duct tape,

With a little bit of gum and good riddance.

Home isn’t supposed to be empty rooms filled with howling winds.

 

Inconsistent is not the right word,

I know all of your constants.

Means leaving, leaving, leaving.

Means you will never let me down

And don’t confuse my gasps for bending or my tears for abdication.

Means on the nights I spend counting empty branches of the pear tree outside of my widow,

Or the days my fingernails bleed blue,

I know that I am only howling at the wind.

Means this is one commitment that you are not afraid to make.

 

You call yourself a brave man,

But all I hear is

Running, running, running.

All I see is an indecisive boy,

Because love is hard enough as it is

And nobody ever told you, you would have to make such hard decisions.

 

Knowing where all the fire exits are

Does not make you a reliable man,

But a runaway.