He asks about my ex
And I want to say the truth
I want to say the mainstream we wanted different things,
Forget to say that I wanted to marry him
And he wanted to fuck other women,
Forget to say that I left somebody who needed my help
And I do not know if he had a drug problem or a he problem
Drowning in the ocean of lost currents
And maybe this is why the Atlantis sank,
But I used up all of my life rafts and crashed my hollows over too many hidden cliffs
To be left aimless in the center of whenever.
He asks about my tattoos
And I recite the poem I learned when I was 12,
Forget to tell him who held my hand the first time I felt a needle jabbing into my nerves
That afternoon when he was looking into my eyes
And I asked him not to say what he wanted to say
Because I knew that we were going to drown,
Forget to tell him that maybe this is why I cannot stop now
Maybe this is why every time I go home I revisit the same salon,
Forget to tell him that he hated my tattoos
Or maybe he just hated me.
I want to ask him about his ex,
Want to ask him if he stopped travelling now
Because he travelled half the world with her,
If when I read the stamps from his passport
It is like needles jabbing into his nerves.
I want to ask him about the ocean,
Whether she was the Atlantis or the Rome
And if there was no ocean
Would we even be having this conversation.
I want to ask but I am afraid to know
And maybe this is why I forgot to tell him so much,
Maybe it doesn’t even matter anymore,
When he says we do not need to talk about this
We already talked about this,
The truth is I have nothing to say about this or them
But I am still writing this poem
Even though I do not know how it ends.